Being a PCOS Cyst-er: You Deserve to Be Heard

Living with PCOS often feels like being initiated into a club you never asked to join. A sisterhood or rather a Cyst-erhood of people quietly carrying symptoms, fears, shame, and exhaustion that others rarely see or take seriously. If you are reading this, you already know that PCOS touches almost every layer of your life. It is not just irregular periods or cysts or symptoms that show up on lab work. It affects your body, your identity, your relationships, your mental health, your sense of belonging, and your future dreams.

In my work with clients who have PCOS, we do not stop at what is happening to you right now. We explore what has happened across your lifespan. We dip into your history, your family of origin, and the messages handed down to you. Sometimes this includes building a genogram to look at generational patterns, addictions, cultural expectations, medical history, genetics, emotional cycles, and mental health struggles. All of this helps make sense of how you learned to relate to yourself and your body.

PCOS often comes with symptoms that feel out of your control. Increased stress and cortisol levels, hirsutism, irregular cycles, painful cysts, acne, fatigue, inflammation, insulin resistance, weight fluctuations, sleep challenges, and mood swings. Many clients share that they feel betrayed by their own bodies or disconnected from them entirely. There are often internalized shame and grief. Grief for the body you hoped you would have. Grief for the certainty you wish existed. Grief for the ease you thought you would feel when trying to conceive. Grief for the emotional labor it takes just to advocate for yourself with medical providers.

Trying to conceive can add another layer of pressure. Society and sometimes family can make comments about when you should have kids, whether you want them or not. The pressure to perform or prove yourself can feel suffocating. Meanwhile your body is reacting to stress in real time. All while you are being told by a dozen people how to fix something they have never lived through, and all while doctors may dismiss or minimize your concerns.

And then there is the loneliness. The feeling of being unheard or brushed off. The moments when people offer advice without slowing down to ask what you are experiencing. The frustration of not feeling understood by medical professionals. The overwhelm of managing multiple appointments, labs, medications, diets, and opinions. It is a lot for one person to carry.

PCOS is not only an individual experience. It affects your partner, your relationship, and the emotional health of your home. I often see couples come in because their communication is starting to unravel under the weight of stress. One partner may feel desperate, anxious, or afraid. The other may begin shutting down because they feel helpless or uncertain. This can create a cycle where both partners start wondering if the other cares. Resentment can build quietly. Loneliness grows in the spaces where emotional connection used to live.

Sex can shift from intimacy to obligation. Romance turns into duties. The playfulness that once came naturally now feels replaced with calendars, timing, and pressure. Some male partners internalize the stress and blame themselves which can contribute to erectile dysfunction. Nothing about this means the relationship is broken. It means you are human and under pressure.

This is where therapy becomes supportive. I help couples regroup, learn to communicate in safe and honest ways, and practice reconnecting emotionally. We bring awareness to the fight or flight response so you can understand your patterns and lower the stress you feel in your body. Instead of only fixing symptoms, we explore what is happening underneath them so you can work with your care team without becoming overwhelmed.

For individuals, we explore your identity, self-worth, body image, internalized shame, and grief. We look at where the disconnection from your body began and how to slowly rebuild trust. We focus on being heard, understood, and supported. You deserve a space where your experience is not minimized.

Therapy is not about curing PCOS. It is about empowering you to understand yourself, your body, your relationships, and the emotional weight of this journey. You do not have to navigate the Cyst-erhood alone. You deserve care that listens. You deserve compassion. And you deserve a place to and when everything feels heavy.

Disclaimer

This blog is for informational and educational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health, medical, or legal advice. Reading this does not create a therapeutic relationship. If you need personalized support, please reach out to a licensed professional in your area.