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How to Use This as a 7‑Day Reset Before You Begin This exercise is designed to be completed between sessions over the course of one week. Day 1: Start With Yourself On the first day, your only task is to observe your own behavior. This helps reduce defensiveness, increase accountability, and soften the negative lens before focusing on your partner. You are not doing this to judge yourself. You are doing this to notice effort. Days 2-7: Shift to Observing Your Partner For the

Living with PCOS often feels like being initiated into a club you never asked to join. A sisterhood or rather a Cyst-erhood of people quietly carrying symptoms, fears, shame, and exhaustion that others rarely see or take seriously. If you are reading this, you already know that PCOS touches almost every layer of your life. It is not just irregular periods or cysts or symptoms that show up on lab work. It affects your body, your identity, your relationships, your mental health

When emotions feel overwhelming, the mind and body often need help settling down. This is where self-soothing comes in; a set of tools and strategies that help us regulate big feelings and bring our nervous system back into balance. Unlike self-care, which is often proactive and long-term (like getting enough sleep or exercising regularly), self-soothing is more immediate. It's something we turn to in the moment; when anxiety spikes, when sadness hits, when we're overstimulat

Learn how the Love Maps exercise, developed by Drs. John and Julie Gottman as part of the Gottman Method, supports couples in reconnecting through deeper emotional insight and shared understanding. Instructions:   One person will begin by answering the question about their partner to the best of their ability. If they don't know the answer or can't guess correctly, they should ask their partner for the answer directly (e.g., "what's your favorite color"). The goal is not to a

Taking a Break During Conflict Takes Practice Conflict is natural in relationships but knowing when and how to take a break can prevent harm and promote respect for one another. Here's a structured approach for recognizing when to step away and how to return productively. 1. Recognize Signs of Emotional Flooding Emotional flooding occurs when the nervous system is overwhelmed. These are common signs: Fight : You're verbally aggressive, repeating yourself, or feel unheard.  Ex

Emotional abuse is a deeply isolating experience. Unlike physical abuse, there are often no visible scars, and the effects can slowly erode your confidence, self-worth, and trust in your own perception. One of the most deceptive forms of emotional abuse is gaslighting. What is Gaslighting? Gaslighting is a form of manipulation where someone makes you doubt your reality, memories, or feelings. Over time, this can make you feel “crazy,” anxious, or unable to trust your own judg

Have you ever been stuck in indecisiveness to the point where you just let whatever happens, happen? You’re not alone. Many of us have experienced those moments when decisions feel so heavy, or so overwhelming, that the easiest thing to do is nothing at all. There’s a phrase you may have heard before: “No choice is still a choice.” Versions of this idea have shown up in philosophy, psychology, and even pop culture over time. The point is the same: when you don’t actively deci

You may have heard of the famous book The Body Keeps the Score  by Bessel van der Kolk. The title itself carries so much truth: our bodies hold the memory of trauma far longer than we realize. Have you ever jumped at something and thought, “I don’t know where that reaction came from?”  That’s trauma living in front of you. Your body remembers how to react when something feels even remotely similar to a past painful event, sometimes without you consciously realizing it. Think

Sex is one of the most vulnerable, intimate aspects of a relationship, and yet, it’s also one of the hardest topics for couples to talk about. Many clients feel ashamed, anxious, or afraid of judgment when sexual struggles show up in their relationship. As a therapist, I want to normalize this: difficulties with sex are common, and they don’t mean your relationship is broken. They simply point to areas where healing, understanding, and new tools can bring closeness back. Sex

One of the most important truths about trauma is this: you did not ask for it. No one chooses trauma, and no one deserves it. Trauma isn’t a sign of weakness, and it’s not something you should “just get over.” It’s a real, human response to overwhelming experiences, and it deserves to be understood with empathy and care. What Is Trauma? Trauma is not just the event itself, it’s the impact that event leaves on our body, mind, and spirit. Trauma occurs when something overwhelms

Addiction touches almost every family in some way. Even if we’ve emotionally cut off a loved one who struggles, the impact lingers. Addiction doesn’t just affect the individual, it weaves its way through families, generations, and relationships. One story I once read captures this truth: An alcoholic father had two identical twin sons. One son grew up to become an alcoholic himself. The other never touched a drop of alcohol in his life. When each was asked why they made the c

Grief is messy, unpredictable, and often misunderstood. Society has expectations about how long it should last, how it should look, and how we should “move on.” But grief doesn’t follow a schedule, and it doesn’t care about anyone’s timeline. As Megan Devine reminds us in It’s Okay to Not Be Okay, grief is not a problem to fix, it is a process to live through. Often, loved ones mean well when they say things like: “It’s time to move on.” “At least you had [X].” “You need to b

Everyone deserves to be met where they are, with respect and curiosity rather than judgment. In my work and my life, I strive to provide a space where people of all genders, sexualities, and identities can explore who they truly are without fear of shaming or dismissal. We live in a world where nearly everyone is touched, directly or indirectly, by someone in the LGBTQIA+ community. Whether it’s a friend, a family member, a coworker, or a neighbor, these connections remind us

René Descartes once wrote, “I think, therefore I am.”  It’s a phrase most of us have heard, but it carries so much weight when it comes to mental health. What we think shapes what we see. And what we see, we come to believe as truth. Take for example the thought: “I am a failure.” When that thought takes over, it’s like putting a filter on a camera and locking the zoom lens on one small detail. Suddenly, every part of the picture seems to confirm the belief. A mistake at work

Anxiety can feel cruel. The more we try to push it away, the stronger its grip becomes. We think we’re controlling it by shoving it down, but in reality, we’re handing it power over us. Think of it like this: suppressing feelings is like pushing a rubber duck under water. The duck is your anxiety. At first, you might manage with one arm, holding it down so no one sees. But over time, your arm gets tired. You start using two arms, straining to keep it submerged. Eventually, yo

When couples reach out for therapy, they often hope for a “fix” to their relationship, a guarantee that they will find their happily-ever-after. The truth is couples counseling does not promise a successful relationship. What it does offer is an opportunity: a space to grow, to learn how to communicate more effectively, and to discover trust in yourself and in your partner. Sometimes, that growth leads to a stronger bond and a renewed sense of connection. Other times, it help

When you live with Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS), it isn’t just a diagnosis, it’s a lived experience that impacts body, mind, and spirit. The graphic above lists many of the challenges that people with PCOS may face depression, anxiety, sleep issues, weight gain, infertility, disordered eating, insulin resistance, and more. For me, PCOS isn’t just something I read about in textbooks, it’s something I navigate every single day. PCOS can feel like carrying a hidden weight. S

I Support Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS) Awareness You may have noticed this PCOS Awareness Association logo at the bottom of my website. That’s because PCOS isn’t just something I support professionally; it’s something I live with. I was diagnosed with PCOS in my early 20s, and it has shaped my journey in deeply complex ways. What is PCOS? Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS) is one of the most common hormonal disorders affecting approximately 1 in 10 women of people assig

Just one spoon left. Some days, even that feels like too much. Have you ever woken up and felt like there is too much to do, and the things you are able to do with take up all of your energy? Do you feel like no one understands when you don't have the energy to do something like reply to a text from 3 days ago, to take a shower, to do the dishes, to go out and socialize with your best friend? It is like everything is too much. Let me start off by saying that you aren't lazy,