When Indecisiveness Becomes a Choice

Have you ever been stuck in indecisiveness to the point where you just let whatever happens, happen? You’re not alone. Many of us have experienced those moments when decisions feel so heavy, or so overwhelming, that the easiest thing to do is nothing at all.

There’s a phrase you may have heard before: “No choice is still a choice.” Versions of this idea have shown up in philosophy, psychology, and even pop culture over time. The point is the same: when you don’t actively decide, you’re still allowing circumstances, time, or other people to decide for you.

But why does this happen? For some, it’s the sheer number of options. We live in a world of endless possibilities, what to eat, what career path to take, what relationship to pursue, what city to live in. Too many choices can leave us feeling paralyzed. Psychologist Barry Schwartz even coined the term “the paradox of choice” to describe how more options can actually make us less satisfied and more anxious.

For others, the fear lies in making the “wrong” choice. What if you regret it? What if it changes your life in ways you didn’t expect? What if it closes doors you may never get back? Anxiety has a way of magnifying these questions until the weight of deciding feels unbearable.

And so, we wait. We hesitate. We push the decision aside until life makes the choice for us.

The problem is that passivity doesn’t necessarily protect us. Often, it leaves us with outcomes that don’t align with what we really want. By avoiding the discomfort of choosing, we give up control over our direction.

So, how do we break the cycle?

Start small. Practice making low-stakes choices quickly, what to eat for lunch, what show to watch, which shirt to wear. Building confidence in small decisions makes the bigger ones less intimidating.

Shift the focus. Instead of asking, “What’s the perfect choice?” ask, “What’s a good choice for me right now?” This takes the pressure off needing a flawless answer.

Acknowledge the fear. Naming your anxiety often weakens its grip. Recognize that fear of regret is normal, but it doesn’t have to run the show.

Remember your values. Choices guided by your deeper values usually feel less overwhelming than those made out of fear or pressure.

Indecision is human. But when we understand why it happens and practice leaning into the discomfort of choosing, we reclaim our ability to shape our lives rather than drifting through them.

After all, no choice is still a choice, so why not make it your own?