Getting to Know Each Other Again: An Introduction to Gottman's Love Maps

Jessica Elliott
Dec 2
2 min read

Learn how the Love Maps exercise, developed by Drs. John and Julie Gottman as part of the Gottman Method, supports couples in reconnecting through deeper emotional insight and shared understanding.

Instructions:

One person will begin by answering the question about their partner to the best of their ability. If they don't know the answer or can't guess correctly, they should ask their partner for the answer directly (e.g., "what's your favorite color"). The goal is not to answer more questions than your partner, but to encourage conversation. Questions will progress from surface-level to more vulnerable topics, prompting deeper discussion. Feel free to ask each other follow-up questions if you're curious about a topic.

Once the first partner provides an answer or asks for help, the second partner will answer the same question in the same manner. After both have answered, the second partner will start the next question, and the process alternates.

Note: This list is not all inclusive, I bring a longer version to our couple sessions.

Pick which version you'd like to start with.